The view from here.

“Know your own happiness. You want nothing but patience- or give it a more fascinating name, call it hope.”

― Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility

I broke my foot. While running. It’s called a Jones fracture.

The most common foot injury we see, the Doctor said.

The nurse brought me a brand new bootie wrapped in plastic and a set of crutches. You’ll be needing these, she said.

How long? I asked.

Six to eight weeks, the Doctor said. Depending on how you heal. You cannot put weight on your foot. You cannot drive.

I looked down at my it, my foot, the culprit. Shit, I said.


It’s been a week since navigating the world on crutches. Here’s what I’ve learned:

  1. Crutches fall over. Crutches fall all over the damn place. You think you’re just putting one down for a second to reach for something, resting it up against something for a tiny moment and it’ll be there when you reach for it again but most times it will not be there when you reach for it again. It will fall over. You will hear it start to slide, down the counter top, down the wall, from the arm of the chair and you will hear it crash to the floor. The sound of it hitting the floor will scare the dog. But you will find you are used to the sound by now. You will stare at it lying down there on the floor and realize the someone that has to pick it up is you. You are the only one. So you accept this fact and re-manuever and you reach down and you pick it up, again and again. You reach down and you pick it up.
  2. People want to help you. Your friends, your family, your CF Friends and Family. They want to help you. Don’t be afraid to ask.
  3. Everything is going to take much longer than you think. Much longer. And it’s going to take more energy too. Get used to it. Suck it up. Take a deep breath. Swallow your damn pride. Get used to it. And then just get on with whatever it is you need to do. Just start moving. 3, 2, 1… Go.
  4. Crutches when you get out of the shower are cold.
  5. Be Patient. With yourself. With those around you. With your dog. With the universe. Just be patient. The world we live in is beautiful. You will heal.


“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it–always.”

― Mahatma Gandhi


With the Fall, comes change. Kids back to school, shorter days… If you believe in a collective subconscious, that we are all plugging in and out of a shared frequency, then you’re probably picking up on some of the anxiety floating around associated with this back to school change felt by so many.

I do not have kids but the week of Labor Day when there was a lot of going back to school going on, I was full of anxiety. Just woke up that way. It’s a terrible feeling, like something really bad, really really bad, is going to happen at any moment. When I feel like that the only thing I can do to squelch the bubbling dread is to hit a WOD. Right up until it’s 3, 2, 1.. Go! my skin feels like it’s going to peel from the bone, my heart is in my stomach and I just want to coat my brain in a magic numbing elixir, whatever it takes to calm the rushing thoughts and invoke some peace.

Since the Holiday week has passed and I’ve resumed my routine and have been hitting WODs faithfully so too the anxiety has ebbed. Sometimes I wonder, when the anxiety hits and almost seems too much to bear, I wonder if these pelting bouts of dread are to be my fate in the years to come and worry if I will have the continued necessary strength to endure. Of course the answer is, Yes. I can say that now of course as I am once again on the other end.

But if you have ever experienced brow beating anxiety you know the weight of which I speak and the inability at times to see through to the other side.

There’s a really good Memoir, Monkey Mind by Daniel Smith, that chronicles a personal journey of living with Anxiety – well written and most important, wickedly funny.

When the rounds of Anxiety come knocking I’ve learned to arm myself with a few tricks of personal defense, drummed up after years of trial and error:

  1. Recognize – When the negative thoughts start to percolate, recognize their approach, know you have some work to do, tell yourself it’s okay, allow yourself the task at hand.
  2. Put on some calming music. Not pop, or anything with words for that matter, classical or actual meditation music, Pandora has some great heart meditation stations.
  3. Try to sit calmly somewhere comfortable. Close your eyes. Breathe.
  4. Identify – Focus on exactly what it is your are feeling. Don’t bury it. Call it out from behind the curtain and name that which you are feeling. Anger, guilt, remorse, fear. Stare it in the face. You’ll be surprised by the strength you gain in doing so. There’s nothing to be afraid of.
  5. Picture something arbitrary and beautiful – rolling clouds on a sunny day, an endless empty beach with crashing waves, wind blowing through pine trees. Something that will take your thoughts from the bad to something unrelated and light. Time to start redirecting the thought train in a new positive direction.
  6. WOD – I don’t care what it takes. You’ve checked your breathing and started to tame your thoughts. Now stand up, put on your gym clothes and step out the door and drive/walk/skateboard/skip to your box. Walk through the front door. That’s all you have to do. The rest will take care of itself. A friendly face will say your name and greet you, hello. You’ll put down your bag and take off your coat. You’ll study the white board and your thoughts will turn from dread to strategy, weights, reps and possibilities. Soon, your body will start to move and your heart will race and you will sweat. Your mind will focus on the one very immediate task in front of you and maybe you’ll think that you can’t but you will get after it anyway and you will know that you can and all else will melt away.

Individual strategies for coping with anxiety will vary. The above seems to work for me.

When there’s only a light sprinkle on the horizon I’ll just skip to number 5 on the way home from work knowing it’s the one true remedy. When the storm clouds really start to gather I’ll methodically go through each step from 1 to 4, sometimes more than once, before even attempting no. 5. Sometimes things can look so bleak I understand I’ll never get out the door unless I tame the thoughts first. Other days I can feel the trouble brewing and nip it with a WOD before it boils over. But in the end the WOD is always an integral part of the solution.

Tonight, it was box jumps.

I’m struggling with being laid off from work. About 60% of the staff in our office are currently without jobs come Nov. 8. There is still work to be done, important work, between now and then. It is not a fun place to be as there are a lot of unknowns, a lot of anxiety, some resentment, some ambivalence, mostly just uncertainty.

While I do believe great opportunities are born from moments like these, it does not make the process any easier. Combine the professional uncertainty with a poignant form of loneliness that surfaces every now and again, and you have a storm a brewin’. What will happen to me? Where will I end up? Who will be the lucky bastard that ends up with me?

And then you hit a WOD RX and do some 31″ box jumps. And everything gets a little brighter… Everything gets a lot brighter.


1. 10 Minute AMRAP of:
Power Cleans (135/95)
10 Push ups
15 Air Squats
Completed: at 95lbs. 5 Rounds plus 7.
2. 10 x 10 Unbroken Box Jumps
* Use a Box Height You That Is Higher Than You Would Normally Use.
** Rest A Full 60 Seconds Between Sets
* 15 Minute Time Cap
Completed: I ended up just testing my jumps, working at get higher and higher. Ended with 31″ after a few rounds of 10 at 24″, then 28″, and finally 31″.

gulfs will wash us down…

“It may be that the gulfs will wash us down;
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,–
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”



Did this one with my best friend who was visiting from out of town and had never done CF before, like ever. We both finished in pretty decent time. Just don’t remember either.
1.  Metcon

3 RFT:
500m Row
12 Burpees
21 Box Jumps, 24/20″

Jerk – PR!

2. Open WOW 11.3

5 Minute AMRAP of:

1 Clean (165/110)

1 Jerk (165/110)

Not sure my total reps. But PR’d my Jerk at 120lbs.