something must change

I miss the sound of barbells hitting the floor.

I miss signing up for group challenges, like a strongman competition, or a 10k. Regardless of where I finished. At least I finished. I miss events that get you and your old friends and your new friends focused on healthy and get you training together. I miss accountability, which leads to training on your own even when it’s dark and cold outside. I miss running with the dog: going for long runs with the sound of four furry feet padding alongside. I miss the way the dog falls asleep for hours once we get home. I miss that feeling of having a well-exercised dog that sleeps contently after our afternoon romp together. I have a young dog in my life again, he does not get enough exercise. I recognize this.

I miss feeling like I can do things. I can do that. And that.

I miss coworkers saying to me, “Hey CrossFit, can you open this for me?”

I miss the clarity of mind.

I miss people. I miss working alongside healthy like-minded people. Together we focus on the simple mechanical task in front of us: lifting the weight off the floor, or getting one more rep, or running one more lap around the parking lot. Don’t get me wrong, during 9-5 hours I work alongside some pretty dynamic folks in our shared office space, but the electronics that surround us get all of our attention. I miss spending time with people in real time and getting our hands dirty; building up blisters and scratching down numbers with bits of chalk; setting up in preparation to work out together and taking it all down again in a that kind of post-WOD meditative state; high-fiving and leaving a trail of sweat on the floor along the way.

I miss these things.

So, here’s the rub, I live in the woods, in a cabin in the woods, three miles down a dirt road which is currently frozen over in ice and packed snow. The nearest CF is over an hour away. It is way too easy to hibernate in my cabin with my young dog who does not get out of doors nearly enough. It is January, we are just emerging from a week of sub-zero temps. I have an extension cord running across the kitchen floor to where it is plugged into a utility lamp under the kitchen sink, trying to keep the pipes from freezing at night. I am full of excuses.