“Live in the present, remember the past, and fear not the future, for it doesn’t exist and never shall. There is only now.” ― Christopher Paolini

It’s  pretty special when you have a WOD date. Even more special when you have two. When you know you’re going to be meeting up with some of your favorite fellow ACF’ers for an hour of torture and good times. There’s always sure to be lots of cheering and high-fiving and just all around sharing of good will, and especially, my personal favorite: ‘You CAN do this.’

Tonight I met up with Carmen and Lynn, two beautiful tall ladies who continue to amaze me with their willingness to try, to work hard, to encourage others to do so as well, and to be well, beautifully bright from the inside out.

I. Strength:

High Bar Back Squat

1X5 @ 80%, 1X3 @ 85%, 1X2 @ 90%, 2X1 @ 95%

* Rest 2 Minutes Between Sets

Completed: at 125lbs., 135lbs., 145lbs…… then ran out of time.  But, the best feeling of all was knowing I could have gone heavier for the 2 sets of 1. Have a feeling my 1RM may have jumped, and that’s the best feeling ever.

II. Conditioning:

5 Rounds For Total Hand Stand Push-Ups of:
2 Minutes To Complete –
Row 20 Calories
12 Lateral Box Jumps (20″)
Max Effort Hand Stand Push-Ups

* Rest 2 Minutes After Each Round.

Completed: 20 cal row for each round in just under the one minute cut-off (with Carmen rowing next to me cheering for me to reach the 20 each and every round), and a hodgepodge combination of stacked rogue blocks for lateral jumps and barely enough time to get in a couple scaled pushups at the end.

Box jumps make me nervous, like, ‘I really don’t want to hurt myself’ nervous. When I was training with Dean I jumped up to 28″ and I’ve used the 24″ during a WOD, but I dunno, there’s a fear there that’s sprouted after one Friday Night Fights in particular wherein I attempted max box jumps in three minutes.

That night I stepped up confidently for the team to complete the task but in the process of going to work the wheels of confidence came off and I was left in the middle of a competition WOD with a body that just wouldn’t go. Scary stuff.

In the days after FNF I tried to repeat the max box jumps workout in the quiet of an empty double-wide, just me and the clock, but even though my performance improved it felt as if the fear was there to stay.

So last night after max effort on the rower, it was interesting how unsteady I felt as I stepped up to face the box. I measured the risk (falling into the box and doing damage) vs. reward (pushing through the fear and using the box) and decided today was not the day to push this and used the soft stacked Rogue blocks instead.

I’m okay with this for now.

Sandy’s wake

With the view from these windows its hard to tell there is a hurricane moving up the East Coast. There’s no rain, intermittent wind. Given all the news reports about what may or may not happen with the storm, its simply a matter of riding it out at this point. For the first time since I’ve been a member our box is closed; along with the schools, some businesses, bridges, roadways, the NY stock exchange.

While there are still WODs on the road available anytime, any place, today I’ve taken a peaceful express ticket to pajama-ville, have been here since 4pm.

Yesterday, Sunday, I spent 2+ glorious hours at ACF. First, Strongman tire flip AMRAP. 250lbs. max tire flips in a minute, followed by 30 seconds of box jumps. Round one: 13 flips. Round two: 14. The most unexpected result from this WOD, the feeling of complete disorientation and ability to complete the box jumps after tire flips, felt weak, unstable, and limp. This caught me completely by surprise.

Then with a bit of a break in between to catch up with some lovely ACF peeps, onto 3 minute box jump AMRAP repeat from my personal epic fail during the last Friday Night Fights. Had to know whether it was fear, or simply a lack of strength which left me finishing way short of what I thought I could do. In an empty double wide with nothing but my own personal running mix playing in the background I decided to try again. No competition angst, no one cheering, no competitors. It was just me and the lonely 20″ box. Turns out it’s my strength and stamina that failed. Right around box jump 15 the legs began to shut down. Weakened and fatigued, the thought of falling and doing some serious injury resulted in a down shift to step ups once again. Insert ‘More work to be done’ statement here.

On to strict push press work. Working up to 1RM at 80lbs. Diet is good, body feels good. Strength is clean as a result. No fog.

Looking forward to getting back to ACF tomorrow. WODs and healthy diet incorporated into a solid routine for me equals healthy body and clean mind.

down the rabbit hole.

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.” ― Mark Twain

Friday was Friday Night Fights. ACF vs. CFCP. ACF in red. CFCP in blue. I registered confidently for this friendly competition. Wanting to work hard with my fellow athletes and test the competition water in a supportive friendly environment. The stakes were low, other than to be sure to work hard and have a good time.

The expected outcome: for my body to do what I was asking it to do. Just like any other WOD, when I concentrate, when I’m warm, when I want to push, my body says, Okay, let’s do this. And it does.

What actually happened: it started with the warmup of a simple round of 6-10 burpees. My legs began to ache. Not the traditional ache like, well this sucks, it’s going to be hard but we’re just warming up, we can take it. Carry on.

No, it was more like, we refuse to move anymore. We refuse to bend as you ask, to support your body weight as you ask, to react quickly like you ask. The round of burpees ended, I could feel the hesitation in my legs to do work but brushed it off: Just warming up, nothing like a little pre-game fear, all is well, let’s get onto the workout.

Flash forward to my segment of the team WOD: as many 20″ box jumps as possible in 3 minutes. I can do this, I thought, and stepped up to tackle the movement. I’ve just come off a PR of 28″ box jumps while training with Dean, I said. I can do box jumps all day.

Cut to: 3, 2, 1… Go. And the box jumps begin. Keep your pace strong and steady, I tell myself. And I do, for almost the first minute. But then the ache in the legs begins to reappear. The thighs start to throb with fatigue. Keep going I tell myself. 1:13 on the clock, just under two minutes to go.

And then the fear set in. And it never left.

I transitioned to a couple step ups just to slow down the pace, and the racing heart, thinking it would be all that I would need to get back to the box jumps. But as soon as I tried to jump up again, total fail. Barely made the lip of the box to steady myself, before falling back off, failing to extend legs or hips fully at the top. The jump was so wobbly, so unsteady, what ever shred of confidence remained soon evaporated.

My mind disappeared down the rabbit hole of fear.

The clock read 1:33 to go. My legs were screaming, unsteady, aching. My mind was swimming in the idea that soon I would fall and hurt myself. Whatever happens don’t you dare stop, I told myself. You can not, you will not stop. The step ups continued in their slow wobbly pace and it was all I could do but to pray for the clock to run out. And it eventually did. How I was physically able to push to finish I’m not certain. Technically the step ups did not count. But I ended with 76 total. It may seem like a lot, but, it’s not. Not even close. Most importantly, the ache; where did it come from, what was it, and how was it so powerfully paralyzing? It is very scary when you ask your body to do something, and it does not respond.

To test the scenario, I plan to hit another 3 minute AMRAP of 20″ box jumps sometime this week. Through a process of elimination, I plan to understand what exactly happened. And do everything I can to prevent it from happening again.

The Good.

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
― Robert A. Heinlein


I. 3 Sets:

5 Tough Touch-n’-Go Deadlifts

Box Jumps (24/20)

15 Burpees

*Rest walk 3:30 between sets

Completed: Thanks to our awesome coaches today, Andrew and Dean, knew I could go heavier on my deadlift and so added 10lbs. for the last round. Rounds 1 and 2 at 175lbs. Round 3 at 185lbs.

II. 3 Attempts:



“A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.” ― Bob Dylan

It’s funny but I don’t feel like I even hit a WOD today. Probably because I was up and at ACF for the 5:45am class. Another byproduct of my mid-life crisis lust filled affair with FB. And ACF. The gauntlet was laid down via FB post for the 5:45am, and by golly, I was up to the challenge.  But perhaps because we were done so early, by 6:45am, it felt outer orbital. For the rest of the day it felt as if I was in another space-time continuum and thereby, never hit any WOD at all. Which led me to check the website 2 or 3 different times, as is the perusal to view the torture that awaited at the end of the day, only to then remind myself upon reading the WOD, ‘Wait, I already DID that.’


Run 400

30 Walking Lunges (each leg)

25 Burpees


I. Review Kettlebell Swing

II. 3 Rounds For Time:

25 Kettlebell Swings – (70/53)

25 Box Jumps – (20″/14″)

III. Barbell Smash on Calves

Completed: In 9 minutes. Kettle Bells at 35lbs.

The mood this morning was electric. A feeling of, I can do anything!, permeated when the WOD came to a close.

I need to do this again, I thought.

Rock Star status was achieved in my own mind, and the view of the world for the day ahead was one from gratitude, cheer, and good fortune.

Today. CrossFit for Hope.

Today we CrossFit for Hope. All proceeds donated to St. Jude. You’ve seen the commercials. It’s absolutely heart breaking what some families have to go through with a sick child. Unimaginable. Thankfully, there is a place like St. Jude to help. Imagine a world without it. Thankfully we do not have to. ACF is in the no. one spot right now for total funds raised. We’re working hard. Individually we all be working hard at 10am this morning. Check back and see how many total reps I get. Folks that hit it yesterday were upwards of 200 reps. I’m just going to go in and do the best I can. Although I did sign up for and RX slot. Yeah. TBD.


I. “Hope”

3 rounds of:


75 pound Power snatch

Box jump, 24″ box

75 pound Thruster

Chest to bar Pull-ups

“Hope” has the same format as Fight Gone Bad. In this workout you move from each of five stations after a minute. This is a five-minute round from which a one-minute break is allowed before repeating. The clock does not reset or stop between exercises. On call of “rotate,” the athlete/s must move to next station immediately for good score. One point is given for each rep.

Lesson Learned

Warm up:

2 Rounds:

15 Kettlebell Swings

15 Romanian Deadlifts (with Kettlebell)

15 Goblet Squats

Completed Warmup: @35lbs. kettle bells.  For some reason I can do kettle bells at or near RX.


I. Front Squat

1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1

Completed: @ 85lbs, then, 105lbs., 115lbs, 125lbs. Tried for 135lbs and failed. 125lbs is my current PR in Front Squats. Thanks James for introducing yourself as a new coach at ACF. And thanks for all your encouragement and good advice.

So, lesson learned. Admit to yourself and to the four people that read your blog that you cheated, and your whole perspective changes. There was no way I was going to ‘lose count’ and not finish tonight’s WOD. I was so determined, I loaded up my bar to RX at 55lbs. and went. At. It.

II. 5 Rounds For Time:

10 Push Press (75/55)

20 Box Jumps (24/20)

*15 Minute Cap

Completed: in 8:35. RX! woot. woot. Had to resort to some step ups in the middle, but finished nonetheless.  Felt great!!  I think Kim was actually proud of me. I’m just happy her pooches are home and doing better. How we love our doggies.