What’s found.

“Accept who you are; and revel in it.” ― Mitch Albom

Yesterday I received an email that began as follows:

Dear Mary,

Thank you for giving me the chance to read your work.  I am pleased to tell you that you have been selected to participate in this spring’s Writers Workshop.  Your manuscript stood out among a competitive pool of applicants. Congratulations.

If you read this blog you know two things, how much I love the following:

  1. CrossFit, and
  2. Writing.

This past week I received recognition for my hard work in each. In one week. Within days of one another. An award in one and recognition by acceptance into a workshop for another.

This kind of thing simply does not happen in life. It doesn’t! You wake up, you go to work, you go home, you spend 22 minutes throwing the tennis ball for your giant German Shedder, and if you’re lucky you make a nice dinner and watch Biggest Loser and go to bed. There’s some detours and holidays tossed in there but for the most part you hit repeat for the next day and the next and the next.

“You know that what you need to do is possible to do, even though difficult, and sense of time disappears. You forget yourself. You feel part of something larger.”— Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi on experiencing ‘flow’

If you have enough left in the day you throw your energy into something that’s really important to you, that makes your heart sing, that warms you from the inside out and gives you a sense of calm, a sense of purpose, that fills you with unconditional love for all things near to you and far. You see beauty and feel compassion and your heart swells with possibility.

When I write, time stands still.

It’s not all pixy dust and unicorns. There are the dark days of work; the toil and getting up and getting out and putting one foot in front of the other. I talk about these days often, sometimes from the isolated moments in the parking lot at ACF just before finding that last push from within needed to get out of the car and go through the doors. I fight with this familiar voice in my head that says, ‘Just go home, you deserve a rest day, pick up a gallon of Oreo ice cream on the way, you have definitely earned it.’

There are even darker days with writing. I’ve only known CrossFit for a year and half, I’ve known writing my whole life.

Writing is not what I do. Writing is who I am. I am always writing, jotting things down on pieces of paper, typing notes in my phone, or even simply and silently in my head – telling myself to try and remember this moment for later. There’s even the token notebook by the bed. Whatever it takes. The thoughts are endless and they are usually followed by, ‘Remember this, write it down. There’s a story here.’

The drive to write comes from a drive to ultimately someday compile it all in a friendly way and get it out there, get it published. Why? Because I want to reach people. I want to be that voice that reaches through the pages to you in that single solitary moment and let’s you know you are not alone. The voice that lifts you up or makes you laugh, or helps you remember, or forgive, or finally make that tough decision. A voice of a stranger who is now a trusted friend; private and knowing.

There is a quote painted on the wall at ACF that reads: ‘No, it doesn’t get any easier and you wouldn’t want it to either.’ I think of this often. It reminds me that whatever you are going through, chances are someone else has gone through it too and may even be going through it right now too. It is in the struggle to keep going that we find ourselves. It is in the will to find the energy to dig deeper and work harder and the desire to change for the better, that we come to know who we really are, and hopefully you’re happy with what you find.

I. Strength:

3 Hi-Hang Cleans + 1 Push Jerk x 5 Sets

* Rest 60 Seconds

** Heaviest Possible

Completed: at 55lbs., 65lbs., 75lbs., 85lbs., 95lbs. Damn I like Hang Power Cleans, even with the squat thrown in. The Oly shoes make it extra awesome as they make the feet and body feel secure and stable.

II. Conditioning:

20 Minute Partner AMRAP:

Partner A) Row 400m

Partner B) As Many Kettlebell Swings (53/35) As Possible.

* Both Partners Moving At The Same Time.

** Score Is Total Distance Rowed + Kettlebell Swings completed.

Completed: with Kim, as we had a WOD date today.  Awww. 3,809 total meters rowed. The worst part being the non-stop KB swings at 35lbs. Which were not totally non-stop, as I averaged two breaks per round.

direction. set one. errr… or two.

Probably posted this one before, but it’s worth repeating:

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ― E.E. Cummings

This was an unusual day as I was able to spend a total of approx. 3 hours at CF. Casually snuck out of work at lunch for the nooner. Then back again for Strongman at 7pm. Followed by some additional training with peeps. There’s so many challenges going around the box you just have to reach up and lasso the moon, George Bailey. Do it. It’s an endless stream of things to goal and do and work towards. CF’ers love to work. As do I. Give me a goal, point me in a direction, wind me up, and let me go.

Direction. Set one. Errrr… or two.

For not only have I signed up for the 90 Day Challenge which starts Jan. 1, I also threw my resilience in the ring for the Back Squat Challenge which began on Monday, Dec. 17. Here’s how it works…

Back Squat Challenge: You work every other weekday – Mon., Wed., and Fri., for two months. On Day 1, Monday, start at 50% of your 1RM back squat weight. Do 20 reps at the 50%. Then every other weekday after (W, F…. M, W, F…etc.) increase the weight in 5lbs. increments. I started really, really light, as I don’t want to burn out too quickly. So, even though my Back Squat 1RM is 155lbs. and I should be starting around 75lbs., I elected to start at 55lbs. So, Monday, Dec. 17, 20 reps completed at 55lbs. Wednesday, Dec. 19, 20 reps completed at 60lbs. Friday we’ll be up to 65lbs. And so on…

You cannot put the barbell down at any point during the round.

On the day you cannot complete a set of 20 reps you work at that weight for however many days it takes until you can complete the full 20. Suppose you only get 18 reps at 145lbs. on Wednesday before you drop the bar? You try for 20 at 145lbs. again on Friday.

Even at the lighter weight this is a surprisingly taxing goal. It is supposed to make your ‘posterior chain’ (CF’ers love this word) über strong. I’m down with über strong. Let’s see how long I can last.

WOD:

Strength:

Press – 3 x 5

Completed: up to 5 reps at 70lbs. I know. I know. My overhead is cray-cray weak. Still. Alas.

II. Conditioning:

8 Rounds

Tabata Hang Power Cleans (95/65)

then…

8 Rounds

Tabata Front Squats (95/65)

then…

8 Rounds:

Tabata Push Presses

Completed: at 60lbs. Not bad. This was a really fun barbel complex. Love the Tabata. Takes you to a different place when strategizing. You gotta find a number of reps and stick to it.

12-12-12

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.” ― Albert Einstein

Today my coworker and I took a healthy lunch break. Ducking out between the cubes, destination; The Nooner at ACF.

Me: Was the world supposed to end today?

Co-worker: Ummm. No. I think that’s 12-21-12

21*21*12

If we were to know when the world ends, would you change anything?

Would you do something different? For me it’s hard to say. My heart is in a good place. Not to say I do not have my own set of demons to slay and hurdles to leap over but I feel more equipped than ever to get the job done. I know myself better, more comfortable, confident in who I am. My soul is in a good place too. I try to be a good person, I am a good person. I take being a good person, personally. Would I go sky diving or ride a rodeo horse if the world were ending? No to the first, have done the second. In fact, have spent the better part of the first half of my life pursuing dreams. Still pursuing them to this day. Aren’t we all? Knowing the world was going to end in two days wouldn’t get me any closer to the dreams I pursue today. I’d have to take heart in knowing I’m doing my very best.

I would want to be with people though. For the end of the world. The people I care about most. And my dog. Ever notice you have different contingents of people you care about, in separate groups, and they all don’t know each other? So you’d have to choose which ones you would spend those final moments with because chances are they would not all convene in the same room, unless it’s your wedding, or funeral. If it’s your funeral you’re screwed either way; if it is the end of the world or not it’s still your funeral and at that point you wouldn’t be able to talk to anyone.

There are certain things in life I thought I would know, would like to have known, but may never. You never do know. But that’s all part of it too. If you knew everything, experienced everything, then things would feel kind of empty don’t you think? You’d have a ‘been there done that’ kind of outlook and no one would want to hang out with you or invite you anywhere because you’d spend the whole time telling them how it was different for you and how this isn’t like you remember and they certainly don’t make things like they used to.

There’s joy in new experiences. Profound joy. Like the feeling I had when I PR’d on my deadlift during the Strongman Comp on Sunday. I remember staring at the ceiling of the triple wide all the way through the lift. Look Up! Up! And I did. And everything turned to white, and what seemed like a minute was probably only a few seconds, but the second I knew I nailed it and lowered the bar to the floor, warmth surged through my body from my heart down to my hands and feet and out my extremities, and I was transported for a moment to someplace else, somewhere really quite magical where just about anything is possible and you feel nothing but truly utterly and momentously alive.

That’s a pretty amazing feeling. And one hard to capture or replicate. It’s an end result of a lot of hard work and all the stars being aligned and molecules falling into place and state of mind, right down to the splash of cream in my coffee that morning.

A true Perfect Moment.

I like to collect these, Perfect Moments. Throughout a lifetime. You know when you’re in the middle of one. It’s precious. For me it’s akin to a stopping of the clock; all of Father Time coming to a halt for you and in an instant you have no doubt or fear or anxiety or want for anything and you possess a knowing that you are exactly where you are meant to be at that very precise moment.

Yes, a deadlift can do this. So can a shared laugh, or a hug, or writing a letter, or riding a horse at sunset, or rounding third base for home, or looking out an airplane window, or visiting a sick friend.

WOD:

I. Conditioning:

21-18-15-12-9

Deadlift (95/65)

Hang Power Clean

Front Squat

Push Jerk

*25 minute cap

Completed: at 55lbs. in 21:05. Thought about going 65lbs. There was a lot of talk of which weight to choose. Caleb’s advice, if you’re unsure, go lighter than you think. This bar complex is a killer. He was right. I went with 55lbs. This is not one of those days when I think I should have gone heavier.

It’s a scary moment when you’re deep into your first round and already struggling with too many to count reps ahead of you and you’re certain you’re never going to be able to finish. Yet somehow you do finish. Yep, you said it, another Perfect Moment.

barbell complex.

“Read, read, read. Read everything — trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You’ll absorb it. Then write. If it’s good, you’ll find out. If it’s not, throw it out of the window.” – William Faulkner

Just getting back into the triple wide at full steam since a week ago. Did scale the Part I so as to not squat to full parallel for at least one more day. Modified the WOD as follows:

WOD:

I. 5 Sets of the Following Barbell Complex:

Power Clean /2 Jerks

*Rest 90 Seconds between sets

Completed: at 85lbs., then 95lbs.

II. 5 Rounds:

7 Burpees

10 Kettlebell Swings (70/53)

Sticking to my mantra of not scaling, especially on burpees. As difficult as this was, hit this RX with Kettlebell at 53lbs. And was last to finish at 7:55. But finished nonetheless. Woot!

horse sh*t.

How I love the Deadlift. who knew this would be the case. Especially if you read one of my older posts from 1972. Where my working Deadlift weight was 125 lbs. If ever inspiration was needed, must remember it’s really quite something to go back and read these posts, from not even one year ago. Super helpful when I let myself get down and convince myself of something ridiculous like I’m not making progress. Horse Sh*t.

WOD:

I. Deadlift

4×6

Completed: with the most awesome strong person ever, Kim.  Didn’t think I could meet her strength, but hung in there at 195 lbs. for round 1, then 215 lbs. for rounds 2, 3, and 4. That’s 6 reps per round. At what only 2 months ago used to be my 1 Rep Max. Progress over horse sh*t. Dean said this word to me today. Horse sh*t. In response to my tentatively not being able to do the Westside Powerlifting 6 week training class. Horse sh*t, he responded. I agree.

II. 8 Minute AMRAP:

Hang Power Cleans (155/105)

Handstand Pushups

Completed: 6 rounds total. Scaled to hand release pushups, and 75 lbs. on the Cleans. Mmmm… could have maybe pushed to 85lbs., but was feeling rather weak and starry eyed. Decided to get in the reps rather than pass out. Decisions. Decisions.

You Can.

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” ― Lou Holtz

WOD:

I. Establish a 2RM Deadlift in 15 Minutes

Completed: PR at 235lbs!

II. 6 Minute AMRAP:

Hang Power Cleans (155/105)

Kettlebell Swings (70/53)

Completed: Hang Power Clean at 75lbs. Kettle Bell at 45lbs. 6 rounds, plus 7. Dean was coaching, and told me to put more weight on the bar. He was right, as usual. Sometimes just need someone to tell you, You Can.

III. Accumulate 3 Minutes in FLR on Rings

winging it

There’s nothing better then getting up early on a Saturday, hitting the WOD, and then having the rest of the day to enjoy. Didn’t even get a sip of coffee this morning before heading in for the 9:30. Probably not the best approach, was feeling a little light headed during the Power Cleans. Do not recommend doing this. I’m not a big breakfast eater. I enjoy coffee in the morning, and do not generally want to eat until about 10am. Here’s the thing though, as my diet is getting cleaner, and I’m getting noticeably stronger, the body needs fuel to keep up. Just winging it isn’t quite working like it used to.  Warrior Dash tomorrow. Oiy.

WOD:

I. Power Clean – Build To A Tough Single In A Few Sets

Completed: @ 85lbs. Tried to work up to 95lbs, fail. Stayed at 85 and focused on form.

II. 3 Sets:

3 Tough Touch n’ Go Hang Power Clean

Sprint 30 m (increasing Speed Throughout)

Rest Walk 5 Minutes

Completed: first at 70lbs., then rounds 2 and 3 @ 85lbs.