sticky notes.

“For the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth – that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.”
― Viktor E. Frankl

I’ve been nominated for female Athlete of the Year at ACF. I’m afraid to admit it but this means a lot to me.

First, the resistant thoughts: the award feels out of nowhere. The four nominees were picked by the coaches, what were the qualifications for being nominated? How did they decide? I am hardly a top athlete at ACF, nor a member of the competition team, and I scale most of my WODs. I do not even have double-unders yet. Yet.

So there we go.

Now, some more rationale: if you think about it, how many times in your life are you nominated for anything? Especially for something you enjoy and work at. It’s not as if I knew such an award existed and have been working towards it ever since joining ACF. No, pretty sure the award is new this year. I do not want to be a part of a popularity contest. I do want to be a part of being recognized for hard work. And if you read this blog you know I like to work. I like goals. I like goals because I do my best work in life when working towards goals.

I relish being surrounded by positive people and strongly believe we all deserve to be supported and loved on the paths we each choose, whether we agree or not, whether you’re leaving me behind and I’m sad to see you go.

There is a sticky note on the dashboard of my car that reads; To Do: Act from Good. My overall goal in life is to act from good. It’s not easy. Sometimes it just plain sucks. I get jealous and sensitive and sad and disappointed and can grow angry and quiet and just want to be left alone. But I do not enjoy acting from these places and try to move out of them as best as is possible, gently rescuing myself and those around me that might have been dragged down too. There is such a thing as karma, but there is also the belief in being a part of the good. A greater good. Where there is darkness; light. Darkness is easy, light takes patience and love.

So, the award. I’m thrilled. The winner will be voted for by ACF members on Saturday night. I am trying to not put too much thought or hope into actually winning the award. I do not want to be disappointed. I do not want to wish failure on others. There’s also no such thing as a trophy for everyone. That’s ridiculous. The whole point of entering the race is the chance of winning some day. Where’s the fun in not being able to Win!

So here I stand in the land somewhere between grateful, hopeful, patient, and free puppies and world peace for everyone if I win.

I. Strength:

In 12 minutes, work up to a heavy single of Shoulder-to-Overhead

Completed: working up to 110lbs. overhead. Failed at 115lbs. My split jerk was off tonight, it’s  usually a movement I feel very comfortable with, but not tonight.

II. Conditioning:

Open WOD 12.3

AMRAP in 18 Minutes of:

15 Box Jumps (24/20)

12 Push Press (115/75)

9 Toes-To-Bar

Completed: at 20″ box jumps, 55lbs. push press, knees to elbows. 7 rounds total plus 2.

I like these 8:30pm classes. Gives you time to get home after work, unpack the day, play with the dog, settle. The key is to not get too settled and to remember that you are going to go out again.

When you do make it back home, usally for me around 10pm, you are ready for bed in every way. Tired, beaten, accomplished.


“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.” ― Albert Einstein

Today my coworker and I took a healthy lunch break. Ducking out between the cubes, destination; The Nooner at ACF.

Me: Was the world supposed to end today?

Co-worker: Ummm. No. I think that’s 12-21-12


If we were to know when the world ends, would you change anything?

Would you do something different? For me it’s hard to say. My heart is in a good place. Not to say I do not have my own set of demons to slay and hurdles to leap over but I feel more equipped than ever to get the job done. I know myself better, more comfortable, confident in who I am. My soul is in a good place too. I try to be a good person, I am a good person. I take being a good person, personally. Would I go sky diving or ride a rodeo horse if the world were ending? No to the first, have done the second. In fact, have spent the better part of the first half of my life pursuing dreams. Still pursuing them to this day. Aren’t we all? Knowing the world was going to end in two days wouldn’t get me any closer to the dreams I pursue today. I’d have to take heart in knowing I’m doing my very best.

I would want to be with people though. For the end of the world. The people I care about most. And my dog. Ever notice you have different contingents of people you care about, in separate groups, and they all don’t know each other? So you’d have to choose which ones you would spend those final moments with because chances are they would not all convene in the same room, unless it’s your wedding, or funeral. If it’s your funeral you’re screwed either way; if it is the end of the world or not it’s still your funeral and at that point you wouldn’t be able to talk to anyone.

There are certain things in life I thought I would know, would like to have known, but may never. You never do know. But that’s all part of it too. If you knew everything, experienced everything, then things would feel kind of empty don’t you think? You’d have a ‘been there done that’ kind of outlook and no one would want to hang out with you or invite you anywhere because you’d spend the whole time telling them how it was different for you and how this isn’t like you remember and they certainly don’t make things like they used to.

There’s joy in new experiences. Profound joy. Like the feeling I had when I PR’d on my deadlift during the Strongman Comp on Sunday. I remember staring at the ceiling of the triple wide all the way through the lift. Look Up! Up! And I did. And everything turned to white, and what seemed like a minute was probably only a few seconds, but the second I knew I nailed it and lowered the bar to the floor, warmth surged through my body from my heart down to my hands and feet and out my extremities, and I was transported for a moment to someplace else, somewhere really quite magical where just about anything is possible and you feel nothing but truly utterly and momentously alive.

That’s a pretty amazing feeling. And one hard to capture or replicate. It’s an end result of a lot of hard work and all the stars being aligned and molecules falling into place and state of mind, right down to the splash of cream in my coffee that morning.

A true Perfect Moment.

I like to collect these, Perfect Moments. Throughout a lifetime. You know when you’re in the middle of one. It’s precious. For me it’s akin to a stopping of the clock; all of Father Time coming to a halt for you and in an instant you have no doubt or fear or anxiety or want for anything and you possess a knowing that you are exactly where you are meant to be at that very precise moment.

Yes, a deadlift can do this. So can a shared laugh, or a hug, or writing a letter, or riding a horse at sunset, or rounding third base for home, or looking out an airplane window, or visiting a sick friend.


I. Conditioning:


Deadlift (95/65)

Hang Power Clean

Front Squat

Push Jerk

*25 minute cap

Completed: at 55lbs. in 21:05. Thought about going 65lbs. There was a lot of talk of which weight to choose. Caleb’s advice, if you’re unsure, go lighter than you think. This bar complex is a killer. He was right. I went with 55lbs. This is not one of those days when I think I should have gone heavier.

It’s a scary moment when you’re deep into your first round and already struggling with too many to count reps ahead of you and you’re certain you’re never going to be able to finish. Yet somehow you do finish. Yep, you said it, another Perfect Moment.


“One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.” ― Helen Keller

The last time I did Elizabeth was in June. It was at 55lbs. and took over 9 minutes. (This all sounds so perverse and derogatory, but, it’s not… It’s anything but…) Anyhoo, in June I even lost count on the reps so who really knows my true score. I vowed to return and do Elizabeth again. *Fist held towards sky*

I never did.

Until today.

Today’s WOD: Elizabeth. Completed: at 75lbs. In 6:03. And definitely could have gone 10lbs. heavier. In case you missed that, I’m certain I could have gone 30lbs. heavier than my best in June. 10lbs. from RX at 95lbs.

My point: it’s incredible how you can feel certain you’ve hit a plateau, a stalling point, with no where left to go. Simply no more room to grow: In life, in CF, at work, with love, and then suddenly, one day, you wake up and your Personal Records punch through the ceiling and soar.

I. Barbell Gymnastics:

5 Sets –

Hang Squat Cleans + 1 Push Jerk

*Rest 90 seconds between sets

Completed: at 65lbs., 75lbs., 85lbs., 95lbs., 100lbs. Again, could have gone heavier. Remember the days when I was feeling stuck with trying to get 100lbs. overhead? Me too. No more.

II. Conditioning:



Power Clean (135/95)

Ring Dips

Completed: in 6:09 at 75lbs. Scaled to ring push-ups.

barbell complex.

“Read, read, read. Read everything — trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You’ll absorb it. Then write. If it’s good, you’ll find out. If it’s not, throw it out of the window.” – William Faulkner

Just getting back into the triple wide at full steam since a week ago. Did scale the Part I so as to not squat to full parallel for at least one more day. Modified the WOD as follows:


I. 5 Sets of the Following Barbell Complex:

Power Clean /2 Jerks

*Rest 90 Seconds between sets

Completed: at 85lbs., then 95lbs.

II. 5 Rounds:

7 Burpees

10 Kettlebell Swings (70/53)

Sticking to my mantra of not scaling, especially on burpees. As difficult as this was, hit this RX with Kettlebell at 53lbs. And was last to finish at 7:55. But finished nonetheless. Woot!

Bear Complex

I love Team WOD’s. When it was over our team headed back inside and went for an additional 3 rounds of 7 Bear Complex @ 55lbs. Why? I have no freaking idea. Freihofer’s 5K tomorrow. Somebody send for reinforcements.

Warm up:

Group Dynamic


I.  With a partner, complete As Many Reps As Possible in 25 Minutes of:

1st 5 minutes:

Hang Power Snatches (95/65)

2nd 5 minutes:

Overhead Squats

3rd 5 minutes:

Hang Power Cleans

4th 5 minutes:

Front Squats

Last 5 minutes:

Push Jerks

*Every time the bar touches the ground, 15 Burpee penalty for each partner

Completed: @ 55lbs. with 3 of us sharing the load. Not sure how many total reps each, or as a team. Lost count. The good news; the bar never hit the ground. It’s amazing what the threat of burpees can do.

II. Stretch and Foam Roll


“Everything you can imagine is real.” ― Pablo Picasso


Split Jerk Review


I. Rack Jerk

1 – 1 – 1 – 1 – 1

Completed: at 55lbs., 75lbs., 85 lbs. This was new. Do not recall doing this movement before. Felt pretty good.

II. AMRAP in 9 Minutes:

Push Jerks (155/105)


Completed: 9 Rounds at 65lbs.

Overall feeling stuck. Stuck in my fitness improvements, stuck in life. Not moving forward at a measurable pace, thankfully at least not moving backwards. Just stuck. Need to unstick. Not sure how, except in remembering the quote above. If you can imagine it, it is real. Everything we see as real was once imagined. Right down to your iPhone. I feel driven to create.

saucy pants no more

I’ve been drinking the cool-aid so much recently… hitting the WOD’s and high-fiving a bunch of PR’s and feeling like I can do just about anything. That’s right, anything. Alas, sure enough – Just as I get all saucy pants, a WOD comes along and I can’t even finish.

Just to be clear: This has not happened in a while. And it does not feel very good. Suddenly my beloved CF becomes an adversary, and in reaction to it I feel standoffish, resentful, trying to act all cool like, whatever, ‘Go on ahead and do whatever you want.. see if I care.’


But once I get over my own ego. And this does not happen instantly. And once I get over… my own ego…I realize it’s moments like these when It’s time to pick myself up and dust my ass off (after all its been handed to me but I won’t take it because I have my pride so it gets dropped to the floor in a pile of dust at which point I still refuse to reach down and pick it up), that I wake up to the reality that there is no finish line, you can always do better, and instead of treating these moments like a trip to Hoffman’s for an ice-cream cone, maybe if I really want to grow past my own mediocrity I should start showing up for what it is I think I really want.


Junkyard Dog Warm-Up


I. “DT”

5 Rounds For Time:

12 Deadlifts (155/105)

9 Hang Power Cleans

6 Push Jerks

Completed: 4 Rounds @ 75lbs. And the buzzer rang. Just to be clear, the WOD called for 5 rounds in 15 minutes. Suck-it.

*20 Minute Time Limit

II. Heavy Prowler Sprints

These are fun.