Days 17 – 24 – Lost: Mojo

If we were friends on FB you might notice that my recent posts are trending along the following lines:

First official WOD back at Albany CrossFit in 6 weeks. I’m weak, and slow, my stamina is for sh*t.
But I’m ready.
And oh so happy.

Or, this:

Lost: one tall chick’s Mojo. If found, please feel free to kick its ass.
Reward offered.

Or, how ’bout this:

Last to finish tonight’s WOD, but I don’t mind at all. Patience. Thanks Kim Seevers and Pat Dee for the extra awesome-sauce encouragement. Oh, and for the double rainbow.

So, what’s happening? I’m not really sure. I wrote this whole long drawn out mellow-dramatic email to a friend last night trying to work through the possible scenarios of why I might be feeling so less than motivated; change in staffing, member turn-over, or the obvious like loss of strength and stamina… Am I drinking too much coffee? Has the Whole30 made me too clean? Who knows.

The real point here is this: It’s Life. Change is constant. It will always be this way.

Here’s another news flash: Some days are harder than others. Yep. It’s true. So what do you do?

You have friends that post things like this to your timeline when you’re feeling like a total slacker:

someone has to be awesome339_n

And then if you can, reach out to another friend, an old coach, a mentor, someone that knew you when – that perhaps you have not connected with in a while that knows your history and where you started. Tell them your more recent story and ask them for help.

Ask for help. Reach out.

Maybe they can do something, maybe they can’t, but it will get you telling your story and flushing out what it might be that really has got you stuck. This process in itself can be cleansing.

Then, if necessary, if you start cherry-picking the WODs and making daily excuses as to why you can’t show up, as to why you deserve to eat ice cream out of the container on a daily basis, put out another ask, and another; I’m planning on going to the 5pm, anyone want to meet me? I guarantee a bevy of hands will go up and this will be the greatest motivating factor of all.

Friends encourage friends to do good.

If you’re interested, here’s the email I sent to Dean. It’s been almost a year since training together, and I just need the help, the motivation, the shove off from shore. We meet on Friday at noon.

Hi Dean,
I hope you are well. It’s good to be in touch with you again. I missed you! Sometimes I feel like, where did everybody go?
So, just some personal history, I stopped training for six weeks, beginning in April, for some minor surgery. Had a large fibroid removed (girl stuff…) I’m fine now but lost a lot of my stamina and some strength during the six week hiatus. It’s slowly coming back but I think the one thing I miss most of all in all of this, is: my motivation, my mojo.  Have you seen it?  What happened to it?  I dunno.
I’ve been eating clean, Whole30, the past 3 weeks and that feels good. Other than building up my strength again, I mostly want to work on my form, getting down and under the bar when I clean or snatch. My form probably makes the coaches cry under the privacy of darkness.
I’d like to improve it.
As for measureable goals, I’m going to be hitting DT in the next week probably at 85 or 90lbs, and then plan to do so again at the end of the summer at RX. 105 overhead is a big deal for me. I’m also signed up to compete in the Mass State Strongman on August 10. I can bring the print out with me when we meet.
Anyway, I hope you are well.  Talk to you soon. see you on Friday at noon.
Here was his response:
Mary, we will find your mojo!!!!!
I feel better already.

No Mojo

Somedays are better than others. And frankly, I’m okay with that.

If every day were good, we wouldn’t know it, because we would have nothing to compare it to.

Plus the bad can sometimes bring out the best in us, like hope and perseverance and hard work. And I get it; that our moods, our thoughts, our emotions, are up to us. We are what we choose to be. I get that.

But sometimes, I just don’t want to turn that frown upside down. Sometimes, I am okay with just being melancholy. Today was definitely one of those days. Not even my beloved CF could lift me out of it. Everything was just off. I was stuck in traffic, couldn’t find parking, sat in my Dr’s waiting room for TWO hours, even hit my head. Oh yeah, one of those days. It just kept coming. Even during tonight’s WOD, couldn’t find my mojo. Surely there was a Deadlift PR waiting in there for me somewhere. But alas, I felt hurried, then had to wait, then couldn’t get my math right, and even then when finally getting the bumpers on the bar, simply couldn’t lift the weight. Fail.

So, the day is drawing to a close. The sun is setting, I’m already in my PJ’s. And ready to crawl in bed. Will I be back tomorrow? You betcha’. Will I be in a better mood? We’ll see. Sometimes it’s okay to just sit in what we’re feeling. Not dwell, but acknowledge. It’s not all pixy dust and leprechauns. Somedays just simply suck. Somedays I’m just not feeling the love. Even after trying to chug the CF cool aid. But the beauty is, it will still be there in the morning.

And I will keep walking through the front door.


I. Deadlift

2 – 2 – 2 – 2 – 2

Completed: 135lbs, then 175lbs., then 215lbs., then tried for 235 and failed. Stopped with a 1RM at 225lbs. My current PR. Ran out of time. If I’ve learned anything, I was trying to jump too much in weight too quickly, not warming up properly.

II. AMRAP in 8 Minutes:

10 Deadlifts (95/65)

Hang Power Cleans

Push Presses

Completed: at 55lbs. 7 Rounds. Could definitely have gone 65lbs. Wasn’t feeling confident enough until well into the WOD to go RX.