Day 10. Cauliflower Pork Fried Rice

“One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” ― Sigmund Freud

Pork Fried Rice for dinner. Except with grass fed ground beef from Trader Joe’s, cauliflower rice, diced butter nut squash and broccoli. Sautéed in coconut oil and because I like it spicy, red curry paste. Yum.

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This whole clean eating thing teaches you to read labels, scrutinize them. Did you know it’s next to impossible to buy bacon without added sugar? Try it. Step into a grocery store and read the ingredients. I scrutinized every package at Trader Joe’s. Every. Package. They all contain added sugar.

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I have been able to buy meat from a local farm including what is probably the best bacon I have ever had, ever. I’ll have to check with the farmer on the next trip to see if he adds any sugar to his bacon before freezing.

I’m struggling with my stamina. My ability to work out. It sucks. Let’s say I’m struggling with my lack of stamina. I have none. Tonight I strained to push the weighted prowler from one end of the parking lot to the next during Strongman. Pretty sure I left my heart and CO2 supply some where out there on the asphalt. 57lbs. keg overhead felt like 105lbs. A newer Strongman peep hoisted the 75lbs. keg overhead like she was swatting away a fly. Then she sprinted from one end of the parking lot to the other with the prowler.

It’s a terrible mistake to compare yourself to others in life. A very dark alley. Do yourself a favor and just don’t do it. I try to remember to not fall into the trap. Tonight I failed at this. Disappointed with my ability to simply do, I found myself comparing myself to others in class that could do and more. They could do what I once could do. From the depths of this disappointment comes the desire to give up. The journey back seems too long. It seems out of reach. This is a poor attitude, I know, but it helps to say it out loud, to recognize the negative pattern and simply let it go.

I simply will not give up on working my way back. I will not give up on getting stronger. I simply will not give up.

Days 5 – 9

“The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.” – Mother Teresa

Despite one Gala, one cocktail party, 60 hour work weeks including nights and weekends, and one small gathering with friends my eating has been Whole 30 compliant. Ie. clean.

I do confess to goggle-ing Whole 30 ice cream over the weekend. Yeah, it doesn’t exist.

My clothes are feeling looser, my appetite is up, my sleep is deep. I feel good most of the time. On Sunday I jogged a mile to Strongman and on the road to recovery managed to work up to 95lbs. clean and jerk overhead during the WOD.

Yesterday, despite much dragging of the feet I did make it to the 3pm WOD. I’m slowly getting back into getting myself to a WOD at least 4 times per week. At times it is not so fun, mostly in the moments leading up to going. Truth; I’ll look for any excuse not to go. I keep trying to figure out why this is, why am I avoiding, and have decided it’s because I know my stamina is for shit and my strength gains have diminished. I’m back to being last in many things. I find this incredibly frustrating and am struggling against it. Chin up, I tell myself. Don’t let this get you down. It is all a journey and if you keep at it, if you keep chipping away at it eventually you find your way back to that position of strength. Yes, this is what I keep telling myself. Somedays it works and others, like right now, not so much. Either way I promised myself to hit a WOD today.

WOD – 5/13/13:

Strength:

Jerk (Behind the Neck) – 5 x 1

Completed: working up to 105lbs.

Conditioning:

21-15-9

Handstand Pushups

Pullups

Completed: finished last in 5:54, scaled to pike pushups and ring rows.